


The one which will require a lot paperwork to be filled out

by Smoochynose



Series: Avengers Kink Meme Fills [1]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Gen, There's a biological weapon, Unaliving people is not an acceptable solution, avengers kink meme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-22
Updated: 2015-04-22
Packaged: 2018-03-25 06:19:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3800074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smoochynose/pseuds/Smoochynose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Skye is not happy with the suggestion of 'containing' the situation of a bioweapon. And just how does Deadpool fit in to all this?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The one which will require a lot paperwork to be filled out

Skye was not happy. She wasn’t sure how the conversation had gone from trying to resolve a hostage situation, to the unrelated situation FUBAR of a bioweapon being held on site possibly leaking, and finally to the suggestion of “containing” the situation.

“What the hell? We don’t even know if the container was damaged. Those people still have a chance. Simmons is in there! We should be saving them!”

There was a bleep on the monitor running identification on the mercenaries involved in the situation.

“Skye,” Coulson said in that calm, controlled voice he liked to use when people didn’t understand his point of view, even as he turned to the monitor to avoid meeting her eyes. “If that bioweapon is released the fallout will be greater than the Spanish Flu. We’re talking roughly 10% of the global population dead. We can’t allow the possibility of it leaving this site.”

The faces of the rest of the team made it clear that even if they didn’t like it (and nobody liked it) that they agreed with the call.

“Give Simmons five minutes. Give her a chance.”

“Sir,” May interjected from the side, “Simmons is currently held with the hostages and is unaware of the situation, her comms are down, we have no other way of reaching her, and even if somehow she could be informed, escape her captives, and make it to the bioweapon in that time there is no guarantee she could fix this. The situation needs to be contained.”

“You can’t just unalive people because it suits you!” Skye all but screamed.

Phil’s eyebrows rose at the term, before eyes widened slightly in surprise followed by understanding, before schooling his face into a professional mask and giving a nod. “Alright. Five minutes.”

In the background Fitz relaxed slightly.

“Sir,” May protested, only to be cut off.

“I have reason to believe that Skye may be able to contact the man in charge of this situation.” He span the screen monitor around so that the rest of the team.

Skye gasped and started pulling out her phone.

“That’s Deadpool,” Fitz said in surprise. “Why would Skye be able to contact Deadpool?”

“That’s something I would like to know as well. But I think we should focus on the situation at hand. We will however be having a discussion when all of this is over,” Phil added sternly towards Skye, who nodded in agreement even as she spoke quick, harsh tones over the phone.

Two minutes later the hostages started filing out of the building. Three minutes later they were getting reports that Deadpool had turned on the other mercenaries and let them go. Four minutes later Simmons called in to inform them that the containment had not been compromised.

After that a very nervous Simmons left the building. The cause of her nerves was draped over her shoulders, gesturing wildly as he told some story. “… and then I asked them ‘Well what the hell am I supposed to do with an alpaca?’ And boy did things get messy then. And not in the good way. But they paid me in the end. I even left enough for their hospital bills and – oh, hey Skye!” he waved. Deadpool let Simmons go, pushing her forward with his hands on her shoulders as he proudly presented her to Skye. “Look who I found. Your friend is pretty awesome. She’s like a super genius. And she’s so shy. It’s really cute.  I kind of want to keep her to myself.”

Simmons, who was less shy and more terrified, shot them a silent scream for help with her eyes.

“Not going to happen. This one’s my friend but thank you for bringing her back safely, Wade,” Skye said and, as everyone else tensed ready to spring into action if the situation called for it, gently tugged a shaking Simmons away from Deadpool and into the welcoming arms of the team.

(“Oh god,” she breathed to Fitz, “I was so sure I was going to die on at least twenty different occasions.”)

“You’re so mean. You don’t share your toys. I’d totally share my toys with you. Except Blind Al. And maybe Weasel. I’d even play nicely. I would have done this time but I didn’t realise she was your friend at first. It was have been totally uncool if I accidentally unalived her.” The team did not miss the shared term.

“Unalived?” Fitz thought aloud, squeaking slightly when Deadpool turned to look at him.

“The K word isn’t very child friendly. It always upset poor little sis, isn’t that right Skye?”

“Oh god,” Coulson groaned and massaged his temples, “The paperwork. Okay, right… Debrief. Now. That includes you too, Wilson. And Skye, we’re going to be having another conversation about keeping secrets.”


End file.
